Dust

There are days when
I can feel myself
sinking
irresistible pull
towards
what I’d rather avoid

I don’t mean to be
awful
on purpose
and I suppose


I’m not

but going through
conversations
in my head
I pick apart
every word
every intention

and I convince myself

of my sickness

I zoom in and out
simultaneously
and I see myself
become invisible

If I can’t be seen
could I
permanently
disappear?
and if I were to be
erased

where do
the particles that make me
me
disperse?